Raising Resilient Children
Resilient children are, by definition, resistant, robust and hardy. They are equipped to deal with all the bumps and tests that life brings their way. Children who are resilient can recover from setbacks and get back to living their lives more quickly. And when children overcome setbacks and problems, it builds their confidence and helps them feel more capable the next time a problem comes up. Who wouldn’t want that for their child?
But how do we build resilient children? The answers may surprise you.
Physical Resilience
Taking risks (safely) is the best way to promote physical resilience. “If you are going to make your kids tough, which they better be if they are going to survive in the world, you can't interfere when they're doing dangerous things carefully.” This quote came from a conversation between podcast host Theo Von and psychologist/author Jordan Peterson.
Emotional Resilience
Support your child but try not to solve every minor problem or disappointment. When their pet goldfish dies, it is ok to feel sad. Don’t rush out to replace it before they notice. In doing so, parents rob children from learning the valuable lesson that sad feelings don’t last forever.
Our friends from the Raising Children’s Network offer this advice on building resilience in young children.
Most importantly, the attitude and behaviour of parents has been found to be one of the most powerful influences on children's resilience. When parents role model a sense of adventure and positivity by bouncing back from their own challenges, this becomes learnt behaviour. Conversely, if parents are overly cautious, negative and fearful, children will inevitably absorb poor resilience habits.
In closing, be patient. Children develop resilience over time, so try to be patient and supportive while your child works out how to respond to challenges. You might want to make everything all right for your child, but sometimes your child has to go through uncomfortable feelings so they can work things out for themselves.
Be brave. You’ve got this. Resilience is contagious.